Hey! You! Can you sing?!? Do you know the words to our country's anthem? Well, son, it's time to hit up Maverick and sing the songs at Tekema Legion games! Here are the dates. If one works, hit up John "Maverick" Hurlocker on facebook.

Hi. I'm Darin. You may know me from all the grain information I bring you on DTN and the Rural Radio Network...but what you might not know, is that I am a stone cold ladies man.

I mean, its obvious once you look at me that the ladies can't resist the tempting charm that immediately intoxicates them the moment they spot me in all the hottest night clubs. I give off a vibe that just oozes lovin' as I sit in the corner sending drinks to all the ladies that catch my eye.  None can resist.

Don't believe me? Fine. What do I care? You and your boys can stand over there with your cheap beer in hand getting a good chortle at your percieved notions of my savvy or lack thereof. Meanwhile, I'll be over here romancing your girlfriend with a bottle of Courvosier and the poetry of John Mayer.

Ok. Fine. I'll give you an example of my prowess...One particular weekend years ago, I found myself in a small bar off the beaten path. The DJ was providing hot beats, the furnace was providing high heats, and the ladies were providing the hot scenery. After a few cocktails, I made my way over to a buxom young lass whom had caught my fancy. I offered to buy her a drink. I could tell right away that this was the sensitive, young type who would be thrilled by the poetry of a dark, mysterious, yet intoxicating man who strolls up to them.

She ordered something I had never heard of, but I gladly obliged her taste, and spared no expense to get the drink for the object of that night's affection. I invited her to my corner table where we conversed about many topics including but not limited to: my experiences fighting bears in the Great Northwest, my ability to speak 13 languages including one I made up, and how the Dos Equis guy is a loose interpretation of my life.

I waited for my moment. She was falling into a state of bliss. I could tell that I needed to recite the perfect line in order to make her mine. I recited a haiku so beautiful, that she had no choice but to fall into a lover's embrace with me...

Price of corn rises
Like the heat of our passion
Markets are Bullish.

What happens next? Well...a gentleman wouldn't tell and a friend...would never ask.

Until next time,

--D-Love

If you're a Husker football fan like me, then today is a marginally exciting day for you.

If you're a Husker fan like some of the creeps and weirdo's over on a certain website that shall remain nameless...then this day is bigger than the birth of your child, the day you married your honey, that time you actually did something in an actual sport, and the first time you had...relations all rolled in to one.

Let me be clear (TM President Obama), I like seeing the new players that are coming in to continue their football careers at Nebraska. I watch their film if I feel like it. I get excited when someone who is supposedly very good announces that they are interested in coming to play for my favorite football team.

The problem is when people who know about as much about football as they do European tapestry get on message boards and start obsessing over high school boys.(more than high school girls on most occasions) Really? You're so infatuated with the football ability of an 18 year old boy that you're going to spend countless hours and dollars  trying to track all of their coming and going? (read: avoiding face to face contact with members of the human race) More power to you, sir...I'll be over here...hanging out with women.

However, thats not even the worst part of all of it. The worst part about it is when a player that appears to have some interest in Nebraska starts to show interest in another school, and may even "committ" to another school after "de-committing" from Nebraska. The self-appointed recruiting expert who know nothing about the kid other than what they are hearing from other message board posters start to degrade the young man (again, high school boy) and his entire family for being "soft, afraid of competition, heartless (TM Kanye West)," amongst other things.

Can we be honest with ourselves for a minute here, Husker fans? We're not exactly a #1 program right now. Last year was a very VERY average year for Nebraska. Didn't beat anyone we shouldn't have, and definitely lost to teams that had no business being on the same field. So who exactly on the fourth best team in the conference is scaring kids away with "competition? (Jared Crick WILL eat your children. I seen it!)

And by the by, anyone who said those things about Brion Carnes when he was looking to be a Western Kentucky Hilltopper until this morning: Don't start talking about what a great fit he is now. Less than 24 hours ago you were talking about how he was afraid of going for the starting job with Cody Green and another future Husker. (Carnes is weak! Like Ukraine! -message board guy 12 hours ago)

And if you do celebrate his signing, I hope Brion's cousin Tommie Frazier (you may have heard of him) finds you, punches you in the face...and eats you. (which will probably happen if there happens to be any KC Masterpiece around).

OH! While I'm ranting, I almost forgot to mention this.  Can we stop with the "Player X is N!" It makes you look like you need a course in remedial spelling (read: how not to spell like a moron), and frankly, is a holdover from the Steve Pederson era (Serving Heaping Helpings of Suck since 2002!) that can probably just die. It makes me want to club a baby seal. Eat that PETA!

In conclusion, congratulations to all the High School Seniors (read: 18 year old boys) who decided to come to Nebraska. Now shut your mouth until you do something on the field.